Tips For The Early Days of Grief

January 16th, 2012
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Photo By Patti Raab

A family I know lost their brother right before Christmas and now the same family has suddenly lost their father.  I can’t imagine the waves of shock, pain, anger, despair and confusion they are engulfed in now as they try to work their way through another intense grieving process.

Please include them in your thoughts and prayers.  The following article is dedicated to them:

The Early Days: Surviving the First Few Days of Bereavement
By Greg Wright

What are the most important things to know during the first few weeks of bereavement?  Several months ago, my … Read More

#beerbottles

January 14th, 2012
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I’m at the cemetery recently picking up the weatherbeaten Christmas wreath I placed on my husband’s marker weeks ago and I spy four empty Heinekein bottles lying in a puddle of water on a nearby marker. My, my…What do we have here? I’d like to think it was someone’s birthday and four friends or relatives came to celebrate, sing and raise one for their family member or friend. Or maybe one person came and had a good time drinking four beers while talking and singing to their loved one. Either way the empty beer bottles don’t bother me at all.  … Read More

A Time of Healing

December 31st, 2011
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As 2011 draws to a close and a New Year is almost here, you might be trying to figure out how you are supposed to face the future without a loved one who recently died. Longtime grief counselor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt of Fort Collins, Colo., advises story-writing and storytelling to help the healing process.  “Tell the story of death and you begin to acknowledge it,” Wolfelt writes.  “Tell it 10 times and you begin to let it enter your heart.  Tell it over and over and you find it becoming part of who you are.” And from that… Read More

Holiday Mental Health

December 22nd, 2011
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New York Daily News Photo The holidays are all around us and sometimes it feels as though the songs, the decorations and even the food are reminders of the beloved people we lost. This time of year can be especially difficult for those of us in search of a place of peace.  We quietly ache for the presence of a particular person we loved and grieve for while we also try to live in this season of celebration. If you feel as though you are at that point of bearing too much, it’s okay to take a break from your… Read More

A Healing Circle of Life

December 7th, 2011
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It’s the holiday season and wreaths are everywhere.  Doors, windows, large buildings and small, I see them indoors and outdoors, even on trucks and cars.  Evergreens, berries, pinecones, and magnolia leaves, the materials that wreaths are made of today seem endless.  If they’re not chock full of tacky plastic stuff, wreaths are welcoming signs, hopeful signs and even peaceful signs. Wreaths are also a sign of faith in humanity and its circular shape represents eternity, for a wreath has no beginning and no end.   Wreaths have been with us since the ancient Greeks and Romans when wreaths were awarded to… Read More

Those Messy Ugly Grief Feelings

December 1st, 2011
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After experiencing a personal loss, everyone has to find their own way of getting back into the game.   Sometimes it’s not pretty. The piece below is from hellogrief.com.  You may not agree with how this woman felt but she is courageous in stepping out from the pack to tell how it really felt for her.  Please give it a read. The One Where I Lie To My Friends Posted On November 8, 2011 @ 8:51 am;  Featured in Parents, Hello Grief   [1]The truth about grief and loss is that they do not always come with pretty, neatly packaged feelings.  Many… Read More

The Month of Thanks

November 18th, 2011
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A Bowl of Hot Smashed Spuds…YUMMMM As we ready for that time of year when we traditionally pause and give thanks, this year may be hard for some to find a reason to be thankful. If you recently lost a loved one, a holiday celebration can exacerbate all the jumbled up feelings you are experiencing and trying to understand. Thanksgiving was the first holiday that my son and I experienced following my husband’s death.  Our son was thirteen at the time and he and I decided to stay with our usual Thanksgiving routine of having dinner at my parent’s house… Read More

One Special Date; Two Memories

November 9th, 2011
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My niece is getting married this Saturday and everyone in my large boisterous family is looking forward to getting together and celebrating this wonderful occasion.  Months and months of preparation have gone into planning this special day and I think my sister will absolutely have a fit if it doesn’t all go off perfectly! No matter what happens, I know it will be a beautiful day, a day filled with great memories.  For me, it will be another reason why Nov. 12 stands out on the calendar.  My niece’s wedding will also be sharing the date of the day my… Read More

Step By Baby Step

November 7th, 2011
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When life deals you a blow, your first reaction is to withdraw and protect yourself.  You want to crawl under the covers, lock the doors and wait for the bad stuff to go away. But guess what?  In the long run, that doesn’t work.  Denial usually makes a situation a whole helluva lot worse. There are lots of theories about why things get worse when they are ignored, but I think it happens because when you don’t pay attention to your thoughts and feelings they build up like a pressure cooker and at some point, that ole pot is going… Read More