Working Through Grief

Daddy’s Office Time

June 18th, 2012
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From a child’s point of view, the place where their parents work can be a place they dislike because it pulls their parent away from them.  Parents spend a lot of time at work and children may feel that they are competing with what goes on in the office.  “If you didn’t have to work, you could be with me,” is sometimes what a child may think.
But what if your memories of your parent and their relationship with their work and their office is positive and you can’t imagine your parent doing anything else but being in their office?  … Read More

I’m Listening

June 13th, 2012
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I have found that when you are talking to children of any age about almost any subject, you should be prepared to hear things that can be so truthful, so honest that it can take your breath away.  Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.  I think it’s wonderful but you have to prepared yourself for the possibility that the unpolished truth could pop out at any moment. That’s the beauty and wonder of children: there usually is no filter on their wise thoughts. In my many talks with my son about his father’s death, I tried to keep… Read More

My Wedding Rings

June 12th, 2012
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The summer months bring many celebrations, including weddings and graduations, and this summer I have attended two weddings and one graduation. They were lots of fun and it was a wonderful opportunity to pause and focus on the important life changes starting for these loved ones.  At each of these joyous events, the participants were being celebrated to mark the beginning of their new futures either as a wedded couple or a person seeking to launch a successful career. But today’s post is about weddings.  Not the dress or the cake but instead I’m thinking about the rings and the… Read More

Sleepless in Seattle

June 11th, 2012
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Tom Hanks and Ross Malinger When I watch the hysterically funny but poignant movie, “Sleepless in Seattle,” one of my favorite scenes is when the character played by actress Rita Wilson tries to explain to  the character played by actor Tom Hanks and the other guys gathered round the table exactly why the incredibly romantic movie “An Affair To Remember” is only truly understood by women. Rita Wilson starts to repeat dialogue from “An Affair To Remember” and sets up the scenes with Deborah Kerr (is it pronounced “Kerr” or Carr? I never can remember…”) and Cary Grant.  Then she… Read More

Re-Shuffle Please

June 8th, 2012
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Alex Katz Painting The amazing thing about grieving is that it blows all the unimportant stuff right out of the water. When it happened to me, the contradictory feelings of grief immediately rearranged my priorities and what I once thought was important wasn’t anymore.  New stuff appeared at the top of my priorities list after my loss.  Things I thought were important suddenly didn’t matter, and other things I didn’t seem to have time for before, I now made time to do. Life dramatically changed, life tragically changed and everything mixed together and changed its order.  Life re-shuffled.  I now… Read More

Vice President Joe Biden’s Grief Journey

May 29th, 2012
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Vice President Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, at an event organized by Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) Vice President Joe Biden emotionally extended a helping hand to military families last Friday by sharing how he endured the death of his wife and daughter and revealed that at that time his grief took him to a place where he understood for the first time how people can consider suicide to be a viable option. Whether you agree with Biden’s politics or not, his remarks were striking and intimate. Grief and how it feels is not a subject you expect… Read More

The Fear of Tears

May 24th, 2012
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Earlier this week, my son and I were reminiscing about our journey through the college and high school years that occurred immediately after his father’s/my husband’s death and in the midst of talking we started laughing about a period of time that was quite painful and confusing for us. What’s up with that? It surprised us that this happened and I thought I would share this experience with my wonderful readers because it might help someone to know that there is always hope and that things can turn themselves around when you least expect it.  If our conversation helps someone… Read More

Bella Donna Summer

May 18th, 2012
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Talk about someone providing the music of your life. For me, that would definitely be Donna Summer.; winner of five Grammy Awards!! Bad Girls…Hot Stuff…Heaven Knows…On the Radio…Dim All The Lights. Crank up the jukebox and turn on the disco ball because I can trace boyfriends, Friday night after work blowouts and dancing with my husband to the fantastic music of Donna Summer!  In fact, the very last song we played at our wedding reception was “Last Dance.”  Summer’s music made me feel full of energy; as though I could dance forever and I think she brought out a little… Read More