Finding Your Community

September 23rd, 2016
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colorful-fingers

 

 

You’re in the mood to go out.  Maybe go see a movie.  Maybe get a drink.

But as a suddenly single, widowed or recently divorced person you might find that your usual go-to friends are busy and you aren’t enthusiastic about going out by yourself.

It’s not that you can’t do it because you’ve done it before.  You’ve done it because you hate to think that you won’t do something just because you don’t have anyone to do it with.

You went out by yourself to prove that you could and it was okay but not great.  It … Read More

Pulling Together

January 29th, 2014
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I began writing Cry Laugh Heal in December 2010 to start an online discussion about grief and resilience, in particular to talk about the many ways we process it and how we can arrive at the realization that we can find strength and a different kind of future through our pain. My husband died in 2003 and I found that grief was not a topic most people wanted to talk about.  What a surprise right?  Of course, it was a subject I could go on and on about but in general it really makes people feel very uncomfortable and they… Read More

Talking on All Souls Day

November 2nd, 2013
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Just because someone isn’t with you doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them…….right? People have imaginary conversations all the time.  In the shower.  While shaving or putting on your make-up.  In the kitchen.  Taking a walk.  Jogging. It’s not weird.  At least, I don’t think it’s weird.  I think of it as collecting or organizing your thoughts to make sure you explain yourself exactly the way you want.  Or sometimes it’s venting your emotions to the only person who might really get what you’re feeling. So what if the person is no longer here on Earth? It doesn’t matter to… Read More

Can You Hug Too Much?

September 20th, 2013
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Hugs……They’re so healing!We hug when we see someone we really like and haven’t seen in a while; we hug when it’s time to say good-bye. We hug to show we care; we hug to let the other person know we are on their team. We hug to send a special message to another person that they are not alone.  They have a friend; someone who cares what happens to them. We hug to comfort.  We hug to love. We hug because we are human and part of a larger community. We are here to hug.  Each other.  All the time.… Read More

Over You — Miranda Lambert

June 20th, 2013
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Miranda Lambert We like to think that the people we love will remain with us forever. No one wants to think of a time or be faced with a time when a loved one gets sick, is in an accident or worse and will no longer be here. But unfortunately, sadly and even tragically, life does not work the way we want, as hard as we always try to will it to work our way. The reason why I am drawn to the haunting song, “Over You,” sung here by award-winning country music singer Miranda Lambert, who also co-wrote this… Read More

Holiday Mental Health

December 22nd, 2011
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New York Daily News Photo The holidays are all around us and sometimes it feels as though the songs, the decorations and even the food are reminders of the beloved people we lost. This time of year can be especially difficult for those of us in search of a place of peace.  We quietly ache for the presence of a particular person we loved and grieve for while we also try to live in this season of celebration. If you feel as though you are at that point of bearing too much, it’s okay to take a break from your… Read More

Can We Tawk? Please?

May 30th, 2011
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  Reach out and listen No matter what phase of grief you find yourself in, people usually are curious to know if what they are feeling and doing is the “normal” way to handle their situation.  I think this happens because grief is not a subject considered to be mainstream.  It makes people uncomfortable and is not discussed as freely and as frankly as you might discuss other subjects, say food or men. People don’t bring it up because they think it will upset you, they are anxious about their emotions or they just have no idea what to say. … Read More