Posts Tagged: process

Monkey Bars

July 2nd, 2013
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Yesterday I wrote about one small aspect of holding on to a deceased loved one’s material things for a long time.  It’s a rather large emotional minefield of an issue but if you ride along with me for a bit more today maybe we can make some progress together and get on with it.
Let’s be real:  nobody wants to hurt and nobody wants to feel pain.  It’s in our DNA to try and protect ourselves and so we naturally want to run away from pain and suffering; even sometimes to deny its existence.  I think this is one of … Read More

Moving Day

May 6th, 2013
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I received a couple of texts over the weekend from a friend who lives in another city about how he now lives in a new place. I didn’t know he had moved from his home of almost 20 years so I was surprised by his news but I also knew that there was more to the story than just a regular heave-ho move from one place to another. My friend lost his wife to cancer a number of years ago and she was a wonderful and talented person, but she also was the kind of person who kept everything.  She… Read More

Forgiveness

April 5th, 2013
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Someone close to me is emotionally stuck on certain negative events that happened in her life decades ago.  She talks about them in great detail and tells others how she felt when these things happened to her.  Listening over and over again to her retelling of these events doesn’t seem to help her move forward and get past what happened. It’s as though she has a list in her head and she mentally checks these things off every day to remind herself that someone did something wrong to her.  It is sad and frustrating to watch someone concentrate on the… Read More

It’s Not What You Think

October 26th, 2012
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  To show you how little I knew about loss and the grieving process, I thought that the first year after my husband’s death was going to be the hardest time that I would ever have to experience.  My thinking was something along the lines of  “If I can get the first year under my belt, then each year after that will become easier to handle.” Right? Guess what? Not. Always. True. Grief is always full of surprises and just when you think you have it under control, you don’t. The first year was so raw with emotion for me… Read More

Connecting The Grief Dots

May 7th, 2011
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Grief is a lot of work.  I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s true. And some days I just don’t want to deal with it.  Or be reminded of it. Those days would especially include when I have to fill out a government or school form for my son or myself and instead of writing his father’s name, I have to write in “deceased.”  That hurts. Or I get to pick from the selections of my status: single, married, divorced or widowed.  After eight years, you would think I would be used to answering these questions but it still pulls… Read More