On June 25, 1990 my life changed forever.
I gave birth to a magical baby boy and I discovered a kind of love I had never known before.
A fierce, unconditional and wondrous kind of love that continues to take my breath away!
I say surprising because I was totally unprepared for the depth and the size of this love for my son. As the oldest of six children and one of 35 first cousins, I grew up constantly surrounded by babies and toddlers. Also, there is only seven years separating me and the youngest of my siblings, who are twins. That’s a lot of bottles and diapers but also a lot of fun!
I adore children and find them to be exhausting but special little creatures who I automatically love for their spontaneity and ability to constantly reveal the world to you in fresh and exciting ways. I thought I had figured out what motherhood would feel like because I had been taking care of children since I was six or seven years old.
Until I gave birth to my own child.
Holding my baby boy after giving birth was a truly powerful and emotional experience. All those feelings of love, protection, hope, joy and expectations came at me all at once as I gazed down at his beautiful face! My son is now 22 years old and I can definitely say that I love him more than anything else in the whole world! But I also can definitely say that I like him as a person and enjoy hanging out and talking to him whenever we can.
|I love this picture of my son!!! He is so happy!!
Raising my son with his father and then later as a widow, has made me dig down within myself and try to work on the twisty sides of myself and put him first. In other words, to consider what life is like from his perspective, not in an indulgent way, but in the way of trying to understand that he has been dealt something in life that is entirely different from what I knew as a child.
He has brought out a different side of myself and helped me become a better person. Being mother and father has not been easy but I have to say that I wouldn’t trade one second of it because those jobs are the most important jobs we are ever asked to do.
Today I think of those early days when a sticky kiss and a hug from my son as a baby and a toddler where the best things I could ever receive to the current days of animated and quiet conversations about life that end with “Thanks Mom! I love you!”
Thank you Ryan!!!!!!!!
Being your mom is the best!!!!
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