Posts Tagged: guilt

The 64 Untalked About Ways of Grief

October 10th, 2013
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People love to read lists.  I’m not sure why, but it could be because all of the best ideas relating to a particular subject are organized in one place.  Or maybe it’s because people want to see if what they guessed would be on the list is actually on the list.
I think that sometimes lists are over used but not in this case.
Today’s list comes from a wonderful website I recently discovered called What’s Your Grief? (www.whatsyourgrief.com) and I bet you a million dollars that you probably have never read a list like this one.
Titled … Read More

Fathers & Sons

June 15th, 2013
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Today I’m going to visit my Dad and celebrate Father’s Day a day early. My son won’t be joining me because he is out of town visiting his girlfriend.  Even if my son were here in town, I would still be emotionally torn on Father’s Day.My Dad is still alive and our family is lucky and blessed to have him. But my son’s father, who was also my husband, died nine years ago and the celebration of Father’s Day makes me feel guilty and conflicted. Guilty because my father is alive and his isn’t.  Conflicted because I want to make… Read More

I’m Listening

June 13th, 2012
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I have found that when you are talking to children of any age about almost any subject, you should be prepared to hear things that can be so truthful, so honest that it can take your breath away.  Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.  I think it’s wonderful but you have to prepared yourself for the possibility that the unpolished truth could pop out at any moment. That’s the beauty and wonder of children: there usually is no filter on their wise thoughts. In my many talks with my son about his father’s death, I tried to keep… Read More

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

February 17th, 2012
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We’ve all played the game of “woulda, shoulda, coulda” and no one ever wins. If you weren’t with your loved one when their death occurred, you might be thinking about all of the things that would be different if you had been there.  You’re thinking about how your present life might be very different if you had been with your loved one at their time of death. You might even think you could have prevented it from happening.  “I could have done more” “If only I had gone for a visit earlier/later in the day,” “I should have stayed with… Read More

Feeling Like A Firework

July 2nd, 2011
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  This July 4th holiday weekend may be your first holiday without a loved one.  It may be full of poignant memories, making it difficult to participate and enjoy the fireworks, parades and backyard cook-outs. I recently found some helpful suggestions on healing from Capital Hospice’s Survivor’s Guide and thought I would share the following in case you are having a difficult time: — It is okay to feel lousy.  Some days will be worse than others.  There is no logical progression to these feelings and that is okay. –Cry if you need to. –In dealing with guilt associated with… Read More