October 10th, 2013
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People love to read lists.  I’m not sure why, but it could be because all of the best ideas relating to a particular subject are organized in one place.  Or maybe it’s because people want to see if what they guessed would be on the list is actually on the list.
I think that sometimes lists are over used but not in this case.
Today’s list comes from a wonderful website I recently discovered called What’s Your Grief? (www.whatsyourgrief.com) and I bet you a million dollars that you probably have never read a list like this one.
Titled “64 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Grief,” it is refreshing and revealing because of the stigma surrounding the subject of grief.  People don’t want to talk about it and will go out of their way to make sure that it isn’t brought up in conversation.  If you are grieving, people act as though you have an infectious disease and being around you will cause them to catch it (#9).  And then there is the idea that you think you know what it’s about until it actually happens to you (#1).
#23 really resonated for me.  “Grief  doesn’t come in five neat stages.  Grief is messy and confusing.”  I didn’t experience grief in the prescribed five stages that are always written about and I don’t think anyone ever has.  You do feel denial, sadness, frustration and many other emotions but sometimes you feel some of them one at a time, sometimes none of them for a long time and sometimes you may feel them all in one day.
It just depends on your relationship with that person, how they died and how you process your emotions concerning your loss.  Everyone’s grief really and truly is unique.
A lot of thought went into making this list and I really think it’s helpful to everyone, children and adults, because you may come across a truism that you have felt yet no one has acknowledged to you.  To find out that someone else has felt exactly as you have felt is comforting and tells you that it’s okay.  You’re not going crazy.  I think it is always a blessing to find out that you not alone.

In some ways, the list feels like a big hug!!  Please check out the What’s Your Grief? list in the link below and share what you think so we can help each other.


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