Working Through Grief

Can We Tawk? Please?

May 30th, 2011
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Reach out and listen

No matter what phase of grief you find yourself in, people usually are curious to know if what they are feeling and doing is the “normal” way to handle their situation.  I think this happens because grief is not a subject considered to be mainstream.  It makes people uncomfortable and is not discussed as freely and as frankly as you might discuss other subjects, say food or men.

People don’t bring it up because they think it will upset you, they are anxious about their emotions or they just have no idea what to say.  … Read More

Connecting The Grief Dots

May 7th, 2011
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Grief is a lot of work.  I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s true. And some days I just don’t want to deal with it.  Or be reminded of it. Those days would especially include when I have to fill out a government or school form for my son or myself and instead of writing his father’s name, I have to write in “deceased.”  That hurts. Or I get to pick from the selections of my status: single, married, divorced or widowed.  After eight years, you would think I would be used to answering these questions but it still pulls… Read More

The Twin Towers, the Pentagon & Flight 93

May 3rd, 2011
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When President Obama officially announced on television late last night that Osama bin Laden had been killed by U.S. forces in Pakistan, my thoughts went immediately to the relatives and friends of the thousands of people whose lives were lost in the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and Flight 93. For almost ten years, these people have been trying to put the pieces of their shattered lives back together so that they may heal and perhaps build some kind of a future after having their loved ones violently taken from them. I wondered how and what they were feeling now that… Read More

Finding Your New Voice

April 17th, 2011
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I’m probably one of the last people to see the Academy-award winning movie, “The King’s Speech,” before it goes to DVD, so please bear with me while I applaud this special film and what I learned from it. This incredible movie tells the true life story of England’s King George VI and his unexpected ascension to the throne; all the while desperately working to overcome a painful and frustrating stutter.  The story works on so many levels it is hard to know where to begin but I think the story itself is so human and would still be powerful even… Read More

To Party Or Not

April 10th, 2011
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This year I have had two large parties at my house…and to my surprise, I have enjoyed myself.  One was for a family member who was celebrating a BIG birthday and the other was on New Year’s Day for my son and my best friends.  This may not sound like a big deal — but it is. With the exception of family events that happened after my husband’s death, I haven’t been ready to celebrate anything or plan for a party that would take place just to have fun.  In order to give a party, you have to be ready… Read More

A Pocket of Surprising Memories

March 26th, 2011
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The whole world is watching as the Japanese rebuild their lives with quiet diligence. News reports show incredible pictures of houses ripped from the earth, cars piled on top of each other and even the concrete tsunami walls built for protection have been broken up and easily tossed aside.  And then there is the nuclear issue…The enormity of the human and physical devastation in Japan as a result of the March 11 earthquake and tsunami is difficult to comprehend and just seems endless. But one man in particular stands out for me.  I recently read an interview with this Japanese… Read More

Stop All The Clocks. . .

March 19th, 2011
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Someone you love has died. Everything around you, people, conversations, situations, the Earth, even life itself, feels like it has suddenly stopped. To me, this moment of  stillness is very similar to being in a car accident.  After the screeching brakes, the moment of impact, the shattering glass and the crush of metal hitting metal, there is an eerie silence; a tingling in your ears. Your eyes see but what you see doesn’t look real; your ears hear but what is being said doesn’t make sense and you can’t seem to get your breath and breathe.  Nothing is computing and… Read More

Carrickfergus

March 17th, 2011
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In honor of St. Patrick’s Day. a day when everyone likes to think they are Irish, I thought it appropriate to share the lyrics to a gentle Irish song called, “Carrickfergus.” When my husband and I traveled there many, many years ago we were having dinner in the lovely town of Listowel and he was mistaken for a native Irishman a number of times.  Men would walk up to him and start speaking Gaelic.  They were surprised and then sometimes frustrated that he could only speak English.  It still makes me laugh when I think of the expression on both… Read More

More Humor Therapy

March 12th, 2011
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Grief is a journey that sets its own schedule. Grief is unique to the person and their relationship with the person who has died.  Some people cry, some talk, some paint and some even throw plates or other breakables to get rid of their frustration or anger.  Unfortunately, there is no set time for healing. It is always difficult to adjust to a life altering change and face the outside world on your own.  But since we are all in this together, it is essential to reach out and extend a helping hand and let others know they are not… Read More