Posts Tagged: bereavement

Angry Grief Is Not Pretty

May 28th, 2014
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Angry grief is not pretty; especially the white hot, messy anger that Richard Martinez is feeling.

Uncomfortable as it is to watch, everything Martinez is feeling is normal and human.  He is expressing the rage and the sorrow he feels right now at the tragic loss 0f his son.  We aren’t used to watching someone freely express their unfiltered, raw anger about the loss of a loved one.  Our culture sends us the message that it’s better to keep a lid on it.  Don’t emote all over the place.

Yet Martinez has experienced a shock, a deep loss that is … Read More

Giving Comfort

March 4th, 2014
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Yesterday was a snow day in Washington, DC with the local and federal governments shut down and people resigning themselves to once again bundle up and go out and shove and clear their cars of winter’s one two punch: ice and snow. Before I braved the outdoors, I indulgently hung out in my pajamas and worked on the computer, answering emails and checking out Twitter for Oscar gossip.  I also made use of my snow day by tackling a large stack of magazines in my home office and in hopes of ridding myself of some unnecessary clutter. I came upon… Read More

In Honor Of The Oscars

March 3rd, 2014
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In honor of the Oscars last night, I’d like to give out a personal award.Last night’s Academy Awards speeches seemed to me to be particularly emotional, expressing the gratitude of recognition, the fulfillment of dreams and deep thanks for the years of incredible support that people received while working on their ground breaking film projects.It brought to mind for me the role that others play in our lives during difficult times and reminded me that support groups around the country are on the front lines of our communities, doing the nitty gritty, down and dirty and painful work of helping… Read More

A Broken Christmas Ritual

December 31st, 2013
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I can’t tell you why but for the first time in many years, I didn’t place a Christmas wreath on my husband’s marker at the cemetery. I thought about it.  I was going to do it.  But then I never did get around to it. I’m hoping that this doesn’t make me a bad person.I’m really hoping it just makes me a conflicted human being dealing with life the best way I know.Every Christmas since he died 10 years ago, I have made a personal ceremony out of placing a large Christmas wreath with a big red bow on his… Read More

Newtown One Year Anniversary

December 14th, 2013
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Today we pause and pray for the community of Newtown, Connecticut and in particular for the families of the 26 victims shot in the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  At a press conference earlier this week, the families asked that people remember the 6 adults and 20 children on this tragic one year anniversary by performing an act of kindness or volunteering with a community group. You can visit their new website at www.mysandyhookfamily.org… Read More

50 Years Ago In Dallas

November 22nd, 2013
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On November 22, 1963, I was 9 years old and off from school that day because I felt sick. I was under the covers of my parents bed and watching the black and white television they had in their bedroom.  For some reason my Dad was home that day and he come upstairs to see how I was when the television programming stopped and the unbelievable and shocking news was announced that President John F. Kennedy has been shot in Dallas and died. I had never seen my father cry before and I didn’t know what to do.  He went… Read More

Holiday Party Questions

November 20th, 2013
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Hi there!! It’s me again and I am back today with what I hope is timely information to help you deal with the topsy turvy happenings of the holiday season. You will, and probably already have, received invitations to holiday parties and you may or may not be looking forward to going.  If you have recently lost a loved one I am very sorry that this personal tragedy is happening to you.  Socializing while in the throes of grief can be a bit of a high wire act. I say it’s a delicate balance because you don’t want to isolate… Read More

Talking on All Souls Day

November 2nd, 2013
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Just because someone isn’t with you doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them…….right? People have imaginary conversations all the time.  In the shower.  While shaving or putting on your make-up.  In the kitchen.  Taking a walk.  Jogging. It’s not weird.  At least, I don’t think it’s weird.  I think of it as collecting or organizing your thoughts to make sure you explain yourself exactly the way you want.  Or sometimes it’s venting your emotions to the only person who might really get what you’re feeling. So what if the person is no longer here on Earth? It doesn’t matter to… Read More