Posts Tagged: pain

Monkey Bars

July 2nd, 2013
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Yesterday I wrote about one small aspect of holding on to a deceased loved one’s material things for a long time.  It’s a rather large emotional minefield of an issue but if you ride along with me for a bit more today maybe we can make some progress together and get on with it.
Let’s be real:  nobody wants to hurt and nobody wants to feel pain.  It’s in our DNA to try and protect ourselves and so we naturally want to run away from pain and suffering; even sometimes to deny its existence.  I think this is one of … Read More

KissyFace

June 21st, 2013
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The picture posted on the Facebook page shows a CD leaning against a car dashboard with the following handwritten message written with a Sharpie:  “To KissyFace – From Your Number #1 Fan.” On a different Facebook page, a male friend enthusiastically writes about a recent Washington Nationals baseball game, what the score was and the important plays of the game.  He then ends his post by saying how much he misses his friend.  On the same page, a different friend posts a story that was in that day’s newspaper and says, “I know you would like this story.  It’s your… Read More

Embrace Your Journey

June 13th, 2013
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“Embrace Your Journey.” You may have wondered why that phrase is listed at the top of my blog underneath the title, “Cry, Laugh, Heal. “ “Embrace Your Journey” is something called a tagline, a phrase to give you — my fantastic, wonderful and supportive readers — a heads up about the things that I’m going to write about.  Things that have helped me to slowly but surely work my way through the loss of my husband, learn to be both mother and father to a young son and develop resilience.  “Embrace Your Journey” helps me to set a tone of… Read More

The Uncertain Path of Newtown’s Mourning Parents

June 10th, 2013
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It is rare for a national newspaper to begin a story on its Sunday front page that continues to run for five pages of with lots of pictures and is dedicated to the subject of grief. But that is just what The Washington Post did yesterday and Eli Saslow, who wrote and reported the devastating story, and Linda Davidson, who photographed the compelling pictures for the story, deserve a standing ovation for bringing much needed attention to what life is now like for the Barden family of Newtown, Connecticut, a family in the throes of raw, searingly painful grief as… Read More

Digging Deep

June 6th, 2013
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I have previously written about people I know who are fighting the good fight against cancer.  Three of them at this point are in good health while one is gearing up for the fight of his life. He is getting ready for surgery next week and after that he enters an intense, aggressive program aimed at totally killing this sucker in its tracks.  He has an amazing attitude towards this scary situation and I admire his calm and even demeanor.   Put in the same situation, I know I would not be faring so well and I don’t think I… Read More

Shrinks Redefine Grief

May 20th, 2013
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Grief is the normal, natural response to the death of someone you care about. Grief happens because you connect with another human being through love. But if it’s up to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), people who experience the fundemental yet normal process of grief could be routinely diagnosed right away as in a major depression and then prescribed anti-depressants before they have even had a chance to try and work through their feelings of loss on their own. That’s because the APA is changing the definition of certain behaviors such as grief, hoarding and binge eating, among others, in… Read More

Moving Day

May 6th, 2013
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I received a couple of texts over the weekend from a friend who lives in another city about how he now lives in a new place. I didn’t know he had moved from his home of almost 20 years so I was surprised by his news but I also knew that there was more to the story than just a regular heave-ho move from one place to another. My friend lost his wife to cancer a number of years ago and she was a wonderful and talented person, but she also was the kind of person who kept everything.  She… Read More

Lean In To Laughter

April 25th, 2013
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One of my brothers has a wacky way of making a joke exactly when it’s needed. His timing and dry delivery are impeccable!  Just when the situation is starting to get either too serious or is totally out of hand, I can always depend on my brother to throw an exclamation point into the conversation.   It’s not an easy thing to do.  There’s a fine line between funny and unfunny and once you cross over into unfunny, it’s hard to undo and recover your mojo. I’ve delivered some whoppers that have crashed on delivery but I don’t try to… Read More

Seeking Support

March 28th, 2013
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Having spent almost two years going to group grief counseling sessions, I am a big believer in talking about the dicey life issues troubling you. Whether it’s grief, drug or alcohol addiction, weight issues or marriage problems, talking can help because you are taking your issues out of the dark and shining light on them for everyone to see.  You’re not hiding your issues and acting as though everything is okay and being handled well.The idea of being part of a support group can seem very intimidating. It was not an easy decision for me: in talking about my pain,… Read More