May 13th, 2011
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“Turn! Turn! Turn!,” a classic pop song performed by the Byrds in the 1960’s, has been playing in my mind recently.  The music was written by Pete Seeger and the lyrics were adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

Maybe it’s the change in seasons dovetailing with graduations, weddings, engagements and milestone birthdays, but it feels for me as though the times, they are a changin’.

A time to be born, a time to die,
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time time to weep

My relatives and friends are transitioning into new chapters in their lives and it’s exciting to watch as the occasions are marked with “pomp and circumstance,” rings and vows and lots and lots of birthday candles.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn,Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

These events also remind me that life doesn’t wait for you to get yourself together.  Whether you’re ready or not, it’s going to “keep on keeping on” and that’s just the way that it is.

As a friend of my husband’s used to say, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.  It’s the real deal baby.”

There are going to be many times when you need to take a break from the daily rush of life’s activities after you have lost a loved one.  You’ll need that break to evaluate what’s happened, and slowly rebuild something new for yourself.  There may be many people who are uncomfortable with your grieving and want you to “get back to normal.”

But guess what?

There is no “normal” and you’re not on anyone else’s schedule.  No matter where you are in the process, you’ll find that life is still out there waiting for you to jump back in and join it again.

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

 I will always have my treasured memories of my deceased husband and you too will always have your memories.  No one can take those away and no one can change them.  It is important to hold onto them but not in an obsessive way.  Sadness may still exist for you, but with time you will gain more control over your emotions and become more confident about which way you want to go.

 To Everything (Turn,Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn,Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
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