And now let us welcome the New Year
Full of things that have never been.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
On this last day of 2015, I find myself reflecting, probably just as you are, on how the year went by so quickly, on some of the good and bad things that happened and what I have might learned from all of these amazing experiences.
It seems like the natural thing to do.
2015 has been quite a year, bringing all sorts of surprises, but it also brought me a renewed sense of discovery. A sense of appreciating instead of just dealing with life. A sense of enjoyment that I haven’t felt for a very long time.
For one thing, I find I don’t take time as much for granted as I once did.
When I was much younger, I had the feeling that there was gobs of time to do whatever I wanted whenever I got around to it and if I didn’t get something done in that particular day, well there was always tomorrow. It was nice to feel so free, unstructured and open ended about life, but I have come to understand that now, in this coming New Year, I don’t have all the time in the world to live my life any old way I want with the luxury of a do over.
I don’t wait to tell someone I love them or care about them. I don’t wait to tell someone how special they are to me. I tell them when I feel it.
I now feel that If I want to accomplish something, I need to at least start it right away. As in today. The action I want to do may not happen right away but I have to at least start planning, not just wondering, if I want it to become a reality. Time is so precious that I feel it is never to be wasted and that is why we must always seize it and squeeze the most out of it while we can.
Today a new calendar year stands before us fresh and full of possibilities.
It’s an amazing feeling to see 365 empty and unlived days in front of you and I can also see how the coming New Year is overwhelming if you are trying to rebuild your life after a traumatic change. After my husband died, I dreaded a New Year for all I could see was pain and additional responsibility.
Here again is the concept of time.
It takes time to figure out how to heal your broken heart and inner spirit. It takes time to decide if you want to continue living in the place you shared with your loved one. It takes time to decide how you will continue to fill the gift of your days without that special person.
This isn’t the same feeling as being young and knowing you have all the time in the world to figure things out. I think of this healing process more as focused time where you see how life used to be, yet you know you have to go in a new direction with new intentions and new plans for your time since you have suffered a loss.
The answers to how you can live your life fully again without your loved one do not present themselves to you immediately. Oh you so desperately want the answers immediately but unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. At least it hasn’t for me.
Allow yourself time to be and to try and find new ways of doing things. Perhaps you might volunteer. Perhaps you might take a class. Perhaps you might start a journal. Perhaps you might find a support group or a person with whom you can talk to one on one.
These are possibilities or options that you might not have considered which could slowly help you put the pieces of your shattered life back together again. Taking baby steps and trying to live differently might help you find the answer to what you want to do with your changed life.
So tonight on this New Year’s Eve, whether you are celebrating alone or with family and friends, I wish you peace.
And in this New Year of 2016, I hope for only good and fantastic things to happen to my awesome and resilient readers and all the many others that I care about so much!
Thank you again for the support you gave me in 2015 and for stopping by to read Cry Laugh Heal.
As I always say, I hope I help you as much as you help me!!!!!!
Happy New Year!