Whoa Nelly!! I know what this feels like, don’t you?
It feels unexpected, awkward, a little uncontrollable and intense.
As though at any moment, what you thought was stable becomes unstable.
What you thought was predictable become unpredictable.
Mood swings, spontaneous crying and having feelings change very quickly.
I think of experiencing this mixture of feelings as being in a spin cycle if you will. When you are unsure of what is coming next. It truly feels this way when grief has you on the run or a life changing trauma has taken your breath away.
I vividly remember my raw grief feelings as an emotional sliding around and feeling as though everything that I knew to be in one place was totally and suddenly topsy turvy, flying off into God knows where and having no idea how I would land or if I would land on anything resembling solid ground.
It was as if I were inside a wave hanging on for dear life because I wasn’t sure I had the energy to sustain my focus or navigate the unexpected. Special days and life events such as anniversaries, birthdays, graduations or christenings can trigger these feelings of renewed grief. Coping with job changes, illness of family members or friends and other life developments can bring on stress and anxiety that lead to feeling of being spun around. You make as if you are losing it and that is normal.
But hope and love are always with us and the enduring idea that with patience and time, we can find a way to go on with our lives and integrate the devastating losses or life challenges despite the huge hole or tight knot we feel in our tummys.
Let’s look at the picture again. I’m almost, almost, under water but I’m not.
I feel as though I am about to spin around, and I probably will get turned in into another direction, but I can’t let myself get wiped out. Instead, I am committed to concentrating on developing my inner strength, my resilience reserves, and making sure that I work to end up in that area of the picture where the sun is shining and it looks warm and refreshing!!
I do believe we have the ability to navigate our challenges. Let’s focus today on the light and move towards the positive!